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Trade Rumors Confirmed: Jack Gets Lost, Fox Bets House

In a landmark trade set to shake up nighttime television, ABC has dealt Jack Shepard, star of their hit show Lost, to Fox's highly acclaimed House, for Gregory House and a cast member to be named later.

The monumental trade came as a surprise to many fans who were already reeling from a frustrating writers strike that put production of both shows on ice for weeks. Though surprising to fans, FOX Chairman & CEO, Rupert Murdoch, sited the trade as, "an exciting change of pace."

"It's no secret that Gregory House has been on the disabled list from Day 1 of production," Murdoch said. "After much consideration, we decided it was the right move to make a trade for a younger, healthier and more vibrant Jack Shepard." Further explaining his reasoning, Murdoch added, "I believe this move shores up some loose ends just before the trade deadline, allowing us to focus on bringing home a truckload of Golden Globes and any other awards we can get our hands on. Neither Gregory House or his cane were available for comment.

The little known Cast Member Trade Deadline Murdoch mentioned nearly expired on February 21, 2008, before executives for both networks initiated a conference call with the Network Television Association (NTA) only 30 minutes prior to the 12:00 am deadline.

Anne Sweeney, Co-Chair of Disney Media Networks and ABC Television, noted similar enthusiasm regarding the unexpected swap. When asked about concerns of Gregory House's status on the disabled list, Sweeney said, "We're not concerned about lists and canes or any other issues of the sort. We made this trade as we feel House is a much better doctor and can bring a new vision to the medical needs of the Lost characters currently stranded on the island. If you haven't noticed, those guys are struggling out there without a medical genius." Sweeney concluded, "Jack's a good doctor, but we've got Gregory in the house now."

As for the cast member to be named later, though there is plenty of rumor and speculation among the media and blogs, details have yet to emerge as to which House character will make the move to Lost. During a taped phone interview, blogger extraordinaire and Lost addict, JuliusGoat noted, "Lost has enough characters to keep up with as it is, but if I had my choice, I'd pick Dr. Cate Milton [Mira Sorvino], 'cause she's one hot number." Goat added, "I don't even think she's a full-time House cast member yet, which might be why she'll be named later. I'm not a stalker or anything, but if neither show wants her, I've prepared my extra bedroom in the basement specifically for her."

Completion of the epic trade is dependent upon successful physicals by all cast members involved. Some proponents of the trade worry it will ultimately be rejected by the NTA since House is a whack job who can barely walk and Jack is a closet alcoholic, hopped up on the same meds he prescribes.

posted by TripJax @ 2:54 PM,


At 5:35 PM, Blogger Julius_Goat said...

You have to remember also that Jack's contract was killing LOST, just killing them.

Now that they have House, they can wave him after Season 5, and have enough to easily re-sign Hurley and bring in a couple impact role players. My sources tell me that Fox Mulder and Special Agent Dale Cooper are very excited about LOST and willing to work for the veteran's minimum.

At 5:59 PM, Blogger Mike Maloney said...


At 10:27 AM, Blogger OhCaptain said...

Hilarity. Has this been picked up by the major news outlets or are you guys the first to write about? This will change my universe. Oh wait, I don't watch that much TV. Can we get Phil Hellmuth and Anne Duke trade from the Best Damn Poker Show and replace them with you guys? That would be fantastic.


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