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Drunken Lewey Award Speech

"I think it was a unanimous decision amongst the bloggers. TripJax won this year's Drunken Lewey Award taking it away from last year's winner, F-Train. Two straight nights. Impressive." Sir AlCantHang

Mere words cannot fully express the feeling of gratitude I have within me, for in a sense, this is the award I was born to win. As I write these words, I am at a loss. It is similar to the loss of memory I had while unknowingly obtaining this award at The Bash. Today, I have so many beverages to thank, yet I cannot remember them all.

I would be remiss if I did not first acknowledge Southern Comfort. Without you, SoCo, I would not be here writing these words of indebtedness. Your sweet drinkability brings a smile to my face and a slur to my speech. For this I thank you.

And Morimoto, your 22 oz. Hazelnut and Black OBI Ales also deserve recognition on this day of tribute. Your intense flavor, lavish portions and high alcohol content made winning this prestigious award seem effortless. Though I have only known you a short time, I know together we can attain many, many more awards.

And who could forget the Keg of random beer? You've been with me a long time Keg. You've helped me through countless middle school, high school, college and adult social events. I rarely know what type of beer you contain, but that is no matter. Knowing there is a cold frosty brew inside you makes the sun rise on glossy eyes. At The Bash, Keg, I spilled one or eight of your tasty beverages from my cup. For this, I am truly sorry. We've been together a long time Keg, so I know you understand.

In the end, I cannot thank Alcohol enough. Without you, Alcohol, this award would not have been bestowed upon me. In closing, I quote a toast by a man of a million quotes, but none more appropriate than this moment.

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all lifes problems." - Homer

posted by TripJax @ 1:13 PM,


At 7:38 PM, Blogger GaryC said...

"and helping white people dance" would be the words of a country song, "Alcohol" by Brad Paisley.

I don't know many of the other bloggers as well as I know you, but I had no doubt that you would win this award hands down.

Made me proud, brother.


At 10:23 PM, Blogger katitude said...


At 10:13 AM, Blogger slb159 said...

Glad to see you pummled the Beer Baron to death.

At 10:53 AM, Blogger Karol said...

At first I thought Chaka Khan was your nickname for someone... :-)

At 11:02 AM, Blogger HighOnPoker said...

What about Jesus? Doesn't Jesus get a thank you? I mean, Christ, man, he turned water into wine, so you know he had to have some part in this debacle.

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo said...

Absolutely highlarious post, Trip. Wish I could have been there, but glad you represented for all us "little guys" at the Bash.

At 5:27 PM, Blogger Garthmeister J. said...

Classic. Very very nice.

At 11:31 PM, Blogger Iakaris aka I.A.K. said...


Why is it I hear Homer Simpson not Homer of the Iliad, when I read this?

Perhaps my turtleneck is too tight?

Heartfelt congratulations my friend for an honor well-earned by all accounts!

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