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Brandi Hawbaker: "I Did Not, Not Have Sex With Every Poker Player On The Planet!"

Sources close to Brandi Hawbaker's vagina report there is only one remaining poker player on the planet - known simply as Wawfuls - that she has yet to bone.

Asked about this not so startling revelation, Brandi denied such a rumor chuckling, "No way, he doesn't count 'cause he's not a poker player."

Brandi later noted, "I am comfortably confident I have not, not had sex with every poker player on the planet. I've knocked them all out, though I just got a report sent to my crackberry letting me know ANOTHER Asian kid at Georgetown University is contemplating dropping out of college to become an online poker pro. So I've got that going for me."

Asked about her recent trysts with poker players, Brandi admitted bumping uglies with Jimmy "gobboboy" Fricke after a heart stopping late night date at the local Vegas KFC buffet.

She later said, "I'm kind of hoping to get busy with Howard Lederer next...I mean again...now that he just won that 100k buy-in Aussie Millions event and all. I just texted him last night, but haven't heard back from him. I'm kind of worried though, if Howard doesn't call me back and this Asian kid doesn't pan out, I may just have to call that Wawfuls guy.

We have yet to reach sources close to Lederer's schlong to confirm or deny this latest information. In the meantime, Wawfuls weeps.

posted by TripJax @ 9:40 AM,

9 Comments:

At 4:21 PM, Blogger Chad C said...

This whole post went to crap as soon as you typed "only one remaining poker player on the planet - known simply as Wawfuls - that she has yet to bone." See you called him a "poker player" and well that just ruins it for me :(

 
At 7:37 PM, Anonymous BSN said...

POTY!

Ok, it's only January, but still, it's pretty good.

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger TripJax said...

Dang Chad, you only had to go one more sentence to get the goods.

And thanks BSN!

 
At 3:46 PM, Blogger StB said...

There should be a warning at the top. NSFW!! Or any human eyes!

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger lightning36 said...

Which one has better boobs?

 
At 8:28 AM, Blogger AJ "The Triple Threat" Martino said...

Hey,

I saw your post on another blog and figured I'd give you a headsup about a WPT giveaway I'm running this year.

You can win a weeklong vacation in the Bahamas, training from the pro's and a shot at 10 WPT buyins plus $10,000 in cash!

The first satellite is held on Full Tilt Poker (a freeroll) February 10th.

Right now there's only 34 players signed up, the top 4 advance to a single-table semi-final in February. The fields aren't going to get any smaller as word of this promotion spreads. So if you want in, you'll want to play some of the earlier events to have less competition.

Hope the tables & life are treating you well, and I look forward to you playing in our WPT satellite for free!

AJ
President
www.RakeReport.net

 
At 3:53 AM, Blogger iamhoff said...

My eyes! My eyes! Trip, this has to be the best Brandi post evar! Well done. Now I need to rub Comet cleanser in my eyes to eradicate the images.

 
At 5:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BITCH !!!! FUCK YOU !!!! YOU ARE A SHAME TO ALLL WOMEN IN PLANET !!!

 
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