Pwned
Friday, September 14, 2007
Well, well, Friday has snuck up on thine ass and smitten me in the process. Weeks are beginning to blur as work flails me to and fro like a strap-on dildo on a cracked up prostitute. So there's that.
How about this for getting waxed last night at the tables...
Yeah, that's an Uber Royal Flush. Could I get anymore Pwned? (click on that link and tell me that is not Wawfuls...).
I may never get ass smacked like that again in my poker career. That was a pre-flop all-in in a heads-up session where I was playing uber-aggro and someone finally hoisted their cajones and met me in the middle. I totally fucking had him until that river beat.
*Cough*
I have a beer fairy. You all wish you had a beer fairy, but I actually have one. I have a 2nd fridge outside in my storage room. It's basically the beer and liquor fridge. I also happen to have a brother-in-law who is a supervisor at Anheuser-Busch and lives across the street from me. Lets just say when a beer nears its "Born On Freshness Date," I'm the recipient of said beer...deposited into my 2nd fridge. I gotz no problems with pounding a beer that was "born" 3 months ago. Thanks bro.
Apparently this is random ass story day, so lets end this post all proper like...with a random ass story.
ChickJax and I are about to celebrate our 8 year anniversary. Everytime our anniversary nears I think about her grandparents and when they were married. The story goes...
The wedding went off without a hitch. The newleyweds headed to their car and off to their honeymoon. As they sped off towards their destination, the groom realized his friends had added the classic wedding addition to the car...the cans on a string. Yep, cans were strewn all over the car...from the back to the front to the sides...dragging all over the place.
As "grandpa" pondered what to do (he was probably 20 at the time, so no grandpa), he decided to open the door and lean back to grab one of the cans that was bouncing around the back door. Obviously not the smartest thing in the world to do, but he did it. Unfortunately he made the move not realizing they were about to cross a bridge.
His car door slammed into the side of the bridge and, I don't really have to tell you what happened next, but I will. The door basically crushed him. The newleyweds spent the next 6 months in a hospital in recovery as he...well...recovered.Obviously they made it out okay since ChickJax is sitting here next to me doing just fine. They went on to spawn 6 chitterlings, who spawned many more chitterlings...and I happened to luck into marrying one of them. A smokin' hot one too. Happy early 8 year anniversary ChickJax!
So there you have it.
Until next time, may the felt be with you.
Update, 9:09am, 09/14/07: Thanks for the well wishes in the comments on the anniversary. I may have confused the situation a tad bit. Our anniversary isn't until October 3rd...I just had it on the brain yesterday as I was scheduling our trip to the mountains in a couple of weeks as a celebration. So, of course, I'll be dropping another anniversary post again in about a month, but thanks for the comments folks!
posted by TripJax @ 12:09 PM,
4 Comments:
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At 2:26 AM,
Unknown said...
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Happy Anniversary my friend.
May you enjoy many more,
both beer and anniversaries!
All my best,
sd/it -
At 2:48 AM,
Jordan said...
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Happy Anniversary! I need to make friends with beer distributer people
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At 12:21 PM,
jamyhawk said...
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Happy "early" Anniversary. 8 years is impressive these days!
Mmmmm. Beer Fairy. What a dream come true. -
At 2:14 PM,
smokkee said...
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congrats on 8yrs of donkey bliss.
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