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In my haste to hit the road towards Charlotte on business travel yesterday morning - and on fumes from only 2 hours of sleep - I forgot to grab my laptop on the way out the door. I didn't realize this until I reached my destination, so it was too late to do anything about it.

Unfortunately, without my laptop, it looks as though I won't be able to play The Mookie tonight. This really sucks cause not only is the Mookie my favorite tourney to play every week, but it is part of the Battle Of The Blogger Tournaments as well. I was hoping to play as many of these as possible, but oh well.

If I can't come up with a way to play tonight, I guess I'll have to figure something else to do. I've been wanting to go see 300, so that might be in order. I haven't seen a movie in quite a while so one of my other blogs has been suffering.

This is your warning to avert eyes now if you can't handle tarded, stupid stuff. Don't say I didn't warn you. On the way into work, Sir Mix-A-Lots "Baby Got Back" was on the radio. I was singing along and for whatever reason I started changing the words. Stupidity ensued...

I like big bets and I cannot lie
You other bettors can'ty deny
When a donk throws in an itty bitty raise
And a stare down in your face
You get sprung
Wanna re-raise tough
Cuz you know his weak bet'll get stuffed

Deep are the pockets I'm wearing
Bankroll so fat you keep staring

Yeah, truly horrible stuff. That's all I came up with, which is a good thing. Anymore dumbassity out of me and I might lose my poker blogger card. Apologies to all my readers.

Until next time, may the felt be with you.

posted by TripJax @ 10:32 AM,


At 2:09 PM, Blogger Matt said...

This post is a perfect example of why I stop by here every day.

Although I can't quite say if I'm laughing with or at.

But I'm laughing, and that's what this is for, right?


At 2:29 PM, Blogger Kat said...

Trip darlin', it's the dumbassity (LOVE that word!) that lest us all keep out poker blogging card.

Hey wait a minute...there's a card?!?

At 7:34 PM, Blogger Doog said...

Oh, my, god. Iggy, look at that bet.
It is so big. *scoff* It looks like,
one of those bloggers’ money clips.
But, y'know, who understands those bloggers? *scoff*
They only bet like that, because,
that looks like a total rag board, 'kay?
I mean, that bet, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe he thinks he’s a rounder, it's like,
that bet there, I mean - bluff. Look!
Those chips are ... black!

[Sir Bets-a-Lot]
I like big bets and I can not lie
You other bloggers can't deny
That when a donk throws in an itty bitty raise
And a stare down in your face

You get sprung, wanna re-raise tough
'Cause you know weak bets’ll get stuffed
Deep are the pockets I’m wearing
My bankroll, you can't stop staring

Oh donkey, I wanna bet wit'cha
And take your chips-ah.
Some bloggers tried to warn me
But the size of that bet looks oh-so corny

Iggy (Rumplestiltskin)
You think you gonna get in his head?
Well, please, please, believe me
You ain't gotta prayer, fo-sheezy.

He know’s you’re stayin’
The hell with slow-playin’
You’ll sweat, all wet,
And then you’re gonna call his bet.

I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' min-raise is the thing
Take the average blogger and ask him that
You gotta bet with sack.

So, bloggers! (Yeah!) Bloggers! (Yeah!)
Do you drop that hammer bet? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to fold it! (Fold it!) Fold it! (Fold it!)
Fold to my hammer drop!

Donkeys get stacked!
(Poker face, that bluff’s a beauty)
Donkeys get stacked!

I like to bet out big
And when I'm bluffin’ that pig
I just can't help myself, I'm bettin’ like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna take your stack
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't bettin’ like you, boy
'Cause then I’d even bust out before Hoy.

You’re getting real low there, shorty
So go for the quick double
Your ass is in trouble
I’m knockin’ you out on the bubble.

You’re playin’ like you’re on TV
All your dead money looks good to me
You can have them blinds, though:
I'll drag huge pots all night, yo.

A word to the donkey playas, I wanna get with ya
You’ll cuss when I hit ya.
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *stack ya*
Til the break of dawn

Donkey keep it comin’ on
A lot of fish won't like this song

'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the stackin’ on

So, donkeys! {Yeah!} Donkeys! {Yeah}
You wanna take your best shot at me? {Yeah!}
Then come on up! Sit on down!
Every blogger’s got to shout!

Donkeys get stacked!
Donkeys get stacked!

At 9:19 AM, Blogger TripJax said...

Holy Shit.

Well done, Sir.

This is getting posted today (04/05/07).


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