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FAIL

Sorry for all the terarded posts these days. Sometimes I just get in a groove with ideas and have to get them out of the ole noggin'. Unfortunately you, dear reader, pay for my idiocy. I'm still way out of a poker groove, but I'm not concerned. I've been doing this poker blog thing for a while and I know I go through periods where I just cannot focus on poker or poker blogging. And that's a good thing. I wouldn't be writing here today if I didn't give myself a certain amount of time away.

All the above duly noted, I did actually play poker twice this week at the The Hoy and The Mookie. I never got things going in The Hoy and ended up taking a tough hand versus Scott that pretty much put me out. I didn't flinch as I really wasn't very motivated to play anyway. I shut down the computer after getting knocked out and focused on other things. As for The Mookie, 30 minutes in I was starting to fall asleep. I actually did fall asleep at one point and ChickJax asked me if I was playing. That woke me up and I knew I was going to have to get busy livin' or get busy dyin'. I was dead within 10 minutes and able to get some sleep. Talk about lack of motivation. Yeesh.

Before I go, I'd like to introduce you to 2 new blogs on my list of reads.

First off is Lair Of Lucypher. Don't let the title scare you off, it is a poker blog with other interesting stuff thrown into the mix. Lucypher was a reader and fan of many of our blogs and he finally decided to take the plunge. He paid a visit to a few of us bloggers while we were all in Vegas and I think that really sparked his interest for giving it a go. In the short time that I met him, I really got a good feeling that he would be blogging rather quickly. He was super nice as was his beautiful wife. If you haven't already, please go take a gander at his blog, add him to your RSS reader and give the newbie a comment or two. We all need those when we're getting started.

Finally, let me give you my latest non-poker blog I'm really digging - The FAIL Blog. The header image of the blog pretty much seals the deal for me...damn good stuff. Tab this one under entertainment and enjoy. It's basically readers who find pictures of random failed situations, then add FAIL to the image in the appropriate place. Pretty damn simple. I've gotten some serious laughs from this blog of late. Much needed laughter I should note. So give that one a whirl as well.

Until next time, may the felt be with you .

posted by TripJax @ 7:23 PM, , links to this post




Randy Moss Majorly Agitated At Tom Brady's Mildly Injured Foot

Super Bowl / Arizona / 01.28.08 - A visibly agitated Randy Moss voiced disappointment - to the lone reporter willing to listen - at the lack of media coverage his assault & battery charge has received since Tom Brady's minor foot injury took center stage. "I am confident details corroborating Rachelle Washington's accusations of battery against me will not surface until after the Super Bowl," said Moss to the reporter who silently nodded his head while shuffling closer to the crowd surrounding Brady's foot. Moss later added, "I watch Court TV on my days off, so I know that evidence stuff takes time to work itself out." No one took note of his comments as all microphones were at floor level across the room waiting for Brady's foot to speak.

posted by TripJax @ 12:10 AM, , links to this post




Rounders & Hobex

On a recent trip to Target, I was perusing the DVD aisle and couldn't help but jump at the chance to buy a 2-Movie Collection including Rounders and Swingers for $10. Though I've seen Swingers plenty of times over the last 10 years, I probably haven't seen Rounders since it first came out on video back in the 90's. I actually had Rounders/Swingers in one hand and Pan's Labyrinth in the other, but since I had seen Pan in the last year, I decided to go with the dual DVD.

The kids were away all weekend and ChickJax was not feeling well on Sunday, thus napping, so I decided to use the quiet time to watch Rounders. I decided to watch it on the laptop using headphones in order to keep quiet. I really like watching movies on a laptop as I can go where I want and really focus on the movie with the headphones pumping out some kick ass audio.

Mid-way through the movie I came across something I had not noticed the first time I watched it back in the day. During the scene where Mike (Matt Damon) goes to a bar to see his girlfriend Jo (Gretchen Mol), the song playing in the background is Windows by Hobex.

Hobex is the mastermind of Greg Humphreys, of Dillon Fence notoriety (remember that song where Hootie & The Blowfish sing "Put on a little Dillon, sittin' on a fence.")? Anyway, Greg is a great singer and songwriter. I've seen many a Hobex show and own several of their albums. A buddy of mine played in a band that played with those guys several times so I've spent some time with the band in the past, though I doubt any of them would remember me.

At one particular show we were backstage with the band and Greg was hitting on ChickJax prior to realizing her and I were married. It's one of those moments I will never forget as he was just so clueless. I love their music and always will, but for whatever reason, now whenever I hear a song, I always briefly think back to when he hit on ChickJax.

If you want to hear what song was playing in the bar during the movie, click this link and scroll down to the song Windows. That song is from the brilliant album Back In The 90's, which garnered moderate success when it came out around the same time as Rounders in 98. As a side note, what a kick ask idea...title an album you created and distributed in the 90s, "Back In The 90's." Now when I listen to the title song, it makes even more sense now than it did when it came out.

So there, I'm not playing poker lately, but at least I can come up with a post about a poker movie. It's the best I can do right now people.

Until next time, may the felt be with you .

posted by TripJax @ 4:40 PM, , links to this post




Brandi Hawbaker: "I Did Not, Not Have Sex With Every Poker Player On The Planet!"

Sources close to Brandi Hawbaker's vagina report there is only one remaining poker player on the planet - known simply as Wawfuls - that she has yet to bone.

Asked about this not so startling revelation, Brandi denied such a rumor chuckling, "No way, he doesn't count 'cause he's not a poker player."

Brandi later noted, "I am comfortably confident I have not, not had sex with every poker player on the planet. I've knocked them all out, though I just got a report sent to my crackberry letting me know ANOTHER Asian kid at Georgetown University is contemplating dropping out of college to become an online poker pro. So I've got that going for me."

Asked about her recent trysts with poker players, Brandi admitted bumping uglies with Jimmy "gobboboy" Fricke after a heart stopping late night date at the local Vegas KFC buffet.

She later said, "I'm kind of hoping to get busy with Howard Lederer next...I mean again...now that he just won that 100k buy-in Aussie Millions event and all. I just texted him last night, but haven't heard back from him. I'm kind of worried though, if Howard doesn't call me back and this Asian kid doesn't pan out, I may just have to call that Wawfuls guy.

We have yet to reach sources close to Lederer's schlong to confirm or deny this latest information. In the meantime, Wawfuls weeps.

posted by TripJax @ 9:40 AM, , links to this post




Headline Noose

"I just want to be a rope again."
~ Noose


It's not often we here at TripJax.com take on the tough issues sparking controversy across our nation, however this time we can no longer sit idly by. Faining societal contempt, we are ready to dig deep into the controversy at hand. To that end, we recently had the pleasure of interviewing Noose, the surprisingly shy, misunderstood rope tangled up in the Kelly Tilghman / Tiger Woods controversy.

For our unaware readers, lets quickly review the controversial issue that just won't seem to go away. On January 4th, while covering the Mercedez-Benz Championship in Hawaii, Tilghman jokingly stated that players hoping to challenge Woods might have to "lynch him in a back alley." While Woods excused the comment as "a non-issue," fuel was added to the almost extinguished fire when the cover of Golfweek Magazines January 19th edition spotlighted the aforementioned Noose, as seen in the picture included in this post. Golfweek Magazines editor, Dave Seanor, was later fired for the cover picture. Now we begrudgingly drag this story just a little further due to a complete and utter lack of poker content.

Now for the interview.

TripJax: First off, Noose, tell us what you think of this whole mess.
Noose: It's pretty retarded, Trip.
TJ: Have you ever met or spoken to Kelly Tilghman or Tiger Woods?
N: I was once used as the rope securing a pallet of Tiger Woods PGA Tour '06 games that were shipped to a Hoboken, New Jersey Target a few years back, if that counts.
TJ: I'm pretty sure that doesn't count, but what other jobs did you have prior to gracing the controversial cover of Golfweek Magazine?
N: I was also the rope Luke Perry used during the rodeo bull riding scenes in the movie 8 Seconds.

TJ: I am so very sorry.
N: Yeah, I learned my lesson on that one. No more gay ass cowboy movies.
TJ: So no Brokeback Mountain for you, eh?
N: I'm a frayed knot.
TJ: I'm pretty sure that punchline is copy written.
N: So sue me.
TJ: Don't you think you have enough problems on your hands as it is, Noose?
N: Good point. Strike that last line.
TJ: So tell me, Noose, how did you get into this bind?
N: Trip, all us ropes really want in life is a little hanging out with our buds...you know...chillin'. Occasionally get tangled up with a cord of the other gender and, I don't know, maybe bond for a while.
TJ: So what went wrong?
N: It all started with my rope ancestors in the Old West. We went from hitching Horse & Buggies to lynching accused thieves, murderers and rapists, pretty much overnight.
TJ: That's terrible, Noose, but at least you helped rid the world of very bad people.
N: I wish it stopped there, Trip.
TJ: Go on.
N: Well, eventually a group of dumb asses came along known as the Ku Klux Klan and lynched people, not because they were bad, but because of the color of their skin.
TJ: That's despicable.
N: Yes it is, Trip. Eventually some smart people got fed up and did some smart things to eliminate the deplorable act of lynching.
TJ: So what did your ancestors do then?
N: They were able to get back to other things, like lassoing little calves in rodeos and supporting swinging children and such.
TJ: Back to the good ole days.
N: Yeah until Tardhead Tilghman opened her snatch during that golf coverage.
TJ: Yeah she's pretty much a cuntbag for saying that, huh?
N: That Golfweek editor is quite the Rocket Surgeon too.
TJ: Laughing out loud, Noose, laughing out loud.
N: I thought you'd like that one, Trip.
TJ: So where do you go from here, Noose?
N: No noose is good noose, Trip. I just want to be a rope again.
TJ: Well said, Rope, well said.

The preceding interview was 100% a joke. Good grief I hope that is obvious by now. Just another dumb ass attempt to be slightly funny, a la The Onion. For anyone offended, lighten up. Tilghman is paying the price in the court of public opinion. The Golfweek Magazine editor got what was coming to him. Racists and bigots will get their just dues in due time...those fuckers. Tiger Woods has moved on and now that I've gotten this tarded post out of the way, so will I. Toodles.

posted by TripJax @ 4:36 PM, , links to this post




Teh Suck

I am teh suck as a poker player and blogger lately. I feel great about my game, I just haven't found the time to be able to play. I did play The Hoy last night and I can just feel it...I'm gonna win at least one of those this year. I don't normally whip out predictions like that, but I'm going to do it right now just as motivation. I didn't do a resolutions post this year, so we'll just start with winning a Hoy. 'Cause in the end, shouldn't we all own a little piece of Hoy?

I have a HUGE job interview within the company tomorrow that I'm really focusing on right now. I fly to D.C. in the morning to interview with a heavy hitter within the firm. I think it is less of an interview and more of this guy trying to entice me to make the move. In other words, methinks the ball is in my court, I just gotta find enough reasons why moving the family would make sense. Right now it doesn't, so I'm not planning on making any moves, but I at least gotta here what he has to say.

All the above was basically to say I continue to have a shit ton of stuff going on beyond the blog so I don't expect to be able to post too much this week or next. On a slight side note, I'll be in travelling for business in Charlotte next week (Tuesday - Friday). Any plans for a home game during the week fellas? If not, no worries, just thought I would throw it out there...

posted by TripJax @ 2:47 PM, , links to this post




Syphilistic!

I was outed in the comments of my last post for being boring. I can't argue the point - especially this week. Prior to this post I dropped one other post on thine asses this week - that being on Monday - and then pretty much dropped the ball the rest of the week. I didn't drop the ball in life, as I have a ton of shit going on at work, but this blog got the cold shoulder accordingly.

In my head I felt funny as all-get-out all week. I just never transferred it to the blog. That's like dreaming about being a porn star, then waking up and realizing you are Wawfuls. Well, maybe it's not like that, but whatever. So anyway, just know I was hilarious all week, but none of that made it here. Suckaz.



I played the Mookie this week, but fizzled just before the final 3 tables. I thought I played well, but that didn't transfer to a final table. Not having played for a while online, I felt I really needed to try and keep focus. I've found the best way to do this is to play one table and maximize it to full screen. I never once looked at any other program or even brought up the lobby. When I was knocked out, I didn't know if there were 20 or 50 people remaining.

I'm not sure if this is good strategy wise, but for whatever reason, I tend to play a better game when I'm not focused on how many people are remaining, or where I stack up against the chip leader, or even who the chip leader is. It's very easy to get caught up in all the factors of a poker tournament that really don't mean much to your game. Sure it's good to know info about the tourney, but for the most part, you can get it from the table.

Not ever looking at the lobby, I was able to focus on my table and how I stacked up against the blind structure and the stacks at the table with me. I was able to focus on when best to increase or decrease my aggression based on the players, their stacks and how many people were seated at the table. There is a point in a tournament, based on the blind levels and number of people seated at your table, that you can get a pretty good idea of when you are nearing the final table.

I guess my point is, if you are having troubles with your game and/or focus, you might want to give this a try. Don't open ANY other programs on your computer - except for poker software directly related to tracking or enhancing the table experience - and then maximize your screen and give 100% focus to the game. I may have finished somewhere around 18th in the Mookie this week, but I felt much better about my game in the process.



For the two people and one really smart ferret that read my blog, but for whatever reason not Hoys, I thought I would mention he did a follow up to my Dewey Checkum & Rayez post. That post was all about Lawyers and Poker and I was happy to see a poker playing lawyer jump in the mix and respond with their own post. His post and the comments everyone from both posts have been very interesting.

Before I go, I have to point you to this post. I'm on Kaja's home game evite list and, I swear eventually I will make it to a game. With it being about 6 hours away though, I'm really gonna have to make a good trip out of it. That's not an easy drive to make there and back if you get your aces cracked in the first 10 minutes. I know there are cash games and all, but you get my point. I promise to make it before Vick gets out of jail. In the meantime, I'm glad my bro is able to make the game. He will take your money for me biatches.

Being on the evite, I do still try and respond accordingly. This time around, I whipped out my 10th grade humor meter and found this response appropriate:

Will you be able to attend?
Answer: No
Comment/Reason: I have syphilis.

I figured the high school humor would end there, but my boy Kajagoogle, not one to disappoint, whipped out that fine post for us all to enjoy. Thank you good sir and please keep the nickels coming. For every $.10 I receive I'll give you a nickelback.

Until next time, may the felt be with you .

posted by TripJax @ 10:34 AM, , links to this post




Earl Of Ghey

I was perusing the tea aisle at the grocery store the other day and came across a package of tea dubbed, Earl Of Ghey. Well, at least that is what I read. I did a quick double take and found my first thought was incorrect and the package really stated Early Of Grey (a British tea I had never heard of up to that point). In that moment, I probably looked rather odd as I was alone in the middle of a grocery store laughing at a box of tea.

You know you've been reading ghey poker blogs too long when you start changing words around to mimic your blog reading without even realizing it. Now the big question is, of the poker blogging crew, who is the true Earl Of Ghey? Please submit your thoughts via comments.



I've been on some what of a poker playing hiatus. I didn't ask for it or plan for it, but it just sort of happened. The last time I played live or online was at Bad Bloods tournament on new years day. Bad Blood managed to win his own tournament, which uncle ted accurately noted was Rigtarded!

As for poker, I've been hella busy at work and had random stuff going on at home to keep me busy, so I haven't even really had a chance to miss poker. I did get some sweet ass Rider Back Guardians playing cards for Christmas that I want to try out soon. Now I just have to get my ass in gear and plan a home game posthaste. Maybe then I'll actually have some poker content in this here blog instead of this tripe. I don't want to end up on Chad's bottom 5 poker blogs list for not having any poker content.

Maybe another Blogger Luck Game is in order to get me motivated. I was thinking of making it a series this time with 4 tournaments all starting within 5 minutes of each other and for varying buy-ins. For instance...

$1 + $.10 - 10pm start
$5 + .$.50 - 10:05pm start
$10 + $1 - 10:10pm start
$24 + $2 (or token) - 10:15pm start

All 4 tournaments would be done before 11pm so no worries on a late night. I like the 4 tournament idea because it allows for more play. That way, in case you donk on the 1st hand in the 1st tourney, you still have a chance in the other ones. This also allows folks with not much bankroll to get in on the action, but also allows for the higher buy-in as well. Hopefully most people buy-in to all 4 of them to get the max lucksackery, but we'll see. What do you all think?

Until next time, may the felt be with you .

posted by TripJax @ 10:56 AM, , links to this post




How To Be A Winner And A Loser At The Same Time

I'm back from Bad Bloods 4th Annual New Years Day Tournament. I had a great time in the game, but I ultimately came up short. I think there were 23 runners and - though I made the final table - I finished 7th with 4 payouts. I'm pretty sure they ended up paying 5 to help out the bubble boy, so I was pretty close to the money.

In the end I lost a race to Falstaff for a +20k pot that, had I won, would have put me in pretty good shape to make the money and push for a win. Instead I hit the rail, but like I said, I had a great time the whole day.

As I mentioned in my previous post, if I won the Moustache-Off '07, I would keep the stache an extra day and try and bring my winning ways to the tournament.

Well I won the Moustache-Off '07 biatches! It was a close competition, but in the end I took it down. So of course I kept the stache for one more day and busted it out at the tournament. At the tournament, for those that knew me and read my blog, there was no explanation. However, for those that didn't know me, it was a tad embaressing strolling up to Bloods house with this thing attached to my face. I quickly decided to get over it and just have a good time. That ended up being the theme of the day.

As for the title of this post...

Winner ~ Moustache-Off '07

Loser ~ Just look at the picture people...that Person Of Interest pretty much sums it up. Oh and I also drove the farthest to the tournament yesterday only to miss the money by a couple of spots. That's sort of loserish.

One of my favorite parts of the day was when, after I put on my my glasses and hat, Otis looked at me and said, "Man you really do look like a Person Of Interest." That and when G-Rob broke out his iPod and started jamming to Sabotage by the Beastie Boys in my honor. That was good stuff.

Now I'm off to the bathroom for a much needed buzz and shave. I promise, no more posts about the stache or POI's for at least a year.

Until next time, may the felt be with you .

posted by TripJax @ 11:23 AM, , links to this post