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The Office: Schrute Poker Wisdom

The Office: Schrute Poker Wisdom

One of my favorite shows to watch these days is The Office, on NBC. On occasion I hear a quote from the show that makes me think of poker, for whatever reason. It could be because I am often playing poker while watching the show or just because I think about poker more than the average bear.

Regardless, here goes my half ass attempt at poker wisdom extracted from quotes on the show. If you're looking for true poker wisdom, you have definitely come to the wrong place. But if you just need to waste the next 1 to 2 minutes of your life, I'm your huckleberry. Class, lets begin:

Dwight Schrute: In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead.

This quote had me thinking about my MTT game. The tournament is "the wild" and you have a choice to be the lion or the animal with the hurt leg. That does not mean you need to be a maniac, but play a strong game, go with your senses, and control your destiny. Be the lion or be dead. In other words, be the lion at the table or you will find the rail.


Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.

This one had me thinking about switching up my game when the time is right. It usually only takes an orbit or two to exploit the characteristics of those at your table, whether tournament, SNG or cash game. If you can extract a few chips from your fellow man by switching up your game, then do it!


Michael Scott: It's simply beyond words. It's incalcucable.

This one had me thinking about the horrendous plays the fishies make when they push their chips in the middle with 1, 2 and 3 outers and no where near the pot odds to justify it. It truly is beyond words when they hit their miracle, rake in the chips, and think what they did was justified. Incalcucable indeed.


Michael Scott: This is our receptionist, Pam. If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple years ago.

I don't want to wake up five years from now and still be playing $5 SNGs or $.50/$1 limit. Nor do I want to be playing anything below where I am at now. This quote just got me thinking about consistently striving to grow my game to the next level. Something I have not done, but need to do. I know it is random and a bit of a stretch with this quote, but work with me here folks.


Michael Scott: No, I'm not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don't tell them.

This is one goes out to the glass tapping dolts out there. I was once a glass tapper, but I have learned my lesson. Do not berate a fish for playing a hand terribly and taking your chips. Bite your tongue (or is it lip?), suck it up, and keep playing solid. You want the fish making that same play the next time you have the best of it with your chips in the middle so that you can punish him for his horrible play. Variance is a beetch, but play your game strong, get your chips in with the advantage, and let the numbers work for you in the long run.


Jim Halpert: God, this is so sad, this is the smallest amount of power I've ever seen go to someone's head.

This one got me thinking about the Table Captain's out there. I don"t play huge games. I typically play $5 and $10 SNGs or a cash game that rarely exceeds $1/$2 limit or $25 NL. So when someone starts mouthing off about why they are so much better than everyone else or why I sucked for what ever reason, I just have to laugh. That or leave my typical chat response. "Great, another $5 pro." That usually shuts them up or at the very least brings them back down to earth. Idiots.


Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um, easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

When you can find a way to take people's chips from them and still have them be your "table friend", you have found a good thing and should run with it. Jordan often speaks about how, when playing live, he usually develops a bond with a few of the players at the table. Gaining respect from a few of the players at the table will often result in them fearing your game, but enjoying the time they had at the table. If you can accomplish this, you have a good thing going.


Well the rest of these are sans poker wisdom, but I just thought they were funny. There are so many one liners from this show and so many other great quotes to use, but alas, time is money, and I must end the post here. Hope you enjoyed my dumb ass. So here are some final quotes to finish this post up.


Dwight: As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections, there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we live right down the river from that old bread factory.

Michael: (at the Year End Office "Dundie" awards) This year's "Busiest Beaver" award goes to Phyllis Smith!

Phyllis: This says "Bushiest Beaver!"
Michael: Damn typos!

Michael: I've beat up black belts.

Jim: How'd you know they were black belts?
Michael: They told me. After.

Michael: Chili's is the new golf course. It's where business happens. Small Businessman Magazine.

Jan: It said that?
Michael: It will. I sent it in. Letter to the Editor.

Michael: You want to see other people? Oh, you want to see only other people.

posted by TripJax @ 11:51 AM,


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